Some people come alive in a buzzing café. Others need silence and solitude to focus. And then some dance between both — thriving in connection one day and retreating into quiet the next.
None of these ways is “right” or “wrong.” They are simply different expressions of energy.
The real leadership challenge is not about fitting into one label. It is about understanding your own rhythms and honouring them.
Why Energy Matters More Than Labels
We have been conditioned to fit ourselves into boxes: extrovert, introvert, ambivert. These terms can be helpful for understanding patterns, but they do not capture the whole story.
The deeper question is: What gives you energy, and what drains it?
· Extroverts often recharge by connecting with others.
· Introverts recharge in solitude.
· Ambiverts fluctuate between the two depending on circumstances.
However, personal leadership means going beyond the label. It is about noticing your unique signals, not just the textbook ones.
My Experience With Energy and Place
I have discovered that I often accomplish more in public spaces, such as a café, than in my quiet home office. It is not about noise — it is about energy. The presence of other people gives me a sense of momentum.
For me, it is not performance. It is connection. As an empath, I thrive on energetic input. The quiet of an empty room drains me more than the chatter of strangers.
Others are the opposite — their best work emerges in silence. Both are valid. The key is knowing which one is yours.
Why Forcing Ourselves Fails
When we ignore our natural energy needs, we push ourselves into exhaustion.
The introvert who forces themselves into constant socializing ends up feeling resentful.
The extrovert who isolates too much may spiral into a cycle of doomscrolling.
The ambivert who does not honour their shifting rhythm feels out of balance.
We burn out not because we are broken, but because we are out of alignment with how our energy actually works.
Taking Leadership of Yourself Through Energy Awareness
Personal leadership starts with asking: Where do I feel most alive, and where do I shut down?
It means:
Noticing your energy highs and lows.
Choosing environments that support your best state.
Allowing yourself to shift between needs without judgment.
When you lead yourself this way, you stop fighting your nature and start flowing with it.
Three Practices for Energy Alignment
Track your energy. For one week, note where and when you feel most energized. Patterns will reveal themselves.
Honour your environment. If cafés fuel you, go there. If silence grounds you, create it. Stop apologizing for your preference.
Stay flexible. Your needs can change. Allow yourself to shift without labelling it as weakness.
The Bigger Picture
When you understand your energy, you stop wasting time on methods that do not suit you. You also stop comparing yourself to people who thrive in different ways.
What works for them may not work for you — and that is okay. Self-leadership is about crafting a life that’s sustainable for your nervous system, not someone else’s.
A Final Thought
Whether you are an extrovert who needs people, an introvert who needs peace, or an ambivert who moves between both, your energy is not wrong.
The only mistake is ignoring it.
Taking leadership of yourself means choosing spaces, rhythms, and connections that make you feel most alive.
Food for Thought:
What space or environment gives you the energy to thrive, and how can you honour that more often?