by Natascha Polomski – Food for Thought Blog
I have been in networking groups where the air felt heavy — like everyone was just waiting for their turn to pitch. You walk in and instantly sense that the goal is not connection, it is transaction.
It leaves you drained instead of energized.
However, there are also communities that feel distinct. Spaces built not on sales, but on compassion. Where people show up as whole humans, not business cards. Where sharing, supporting, and uplifting each other is the actual culture.
That is the power of community without the toxic sales pitch — and it is one of the most underrated forms of personal leadership.
Why Connection Matters
Humans are not wired to thrive in isolation. We need connection, accountability, and shared energy.
But not all connections are created equal. When you are part of a community that operates from compassion instead of competition:
You grow without pressure.
You feel safe to show up authentically.
You exchange energy instead of extracting it.
That is when community becomes nourishment instead of noise.
My Experience With Compassion-Based Communities
I have seen this firsthand in groups like Konnexions and Fab Collabs (https://konnexions.ca). Spaces created not to sell, but to support. People who show up only for transactions do not stick around, because there is nothing for them to “take.”
Instead, those who stay are the ones who understand that collaboration, not competition, creates a lasting impact. One conversation might spark a friendship. Another might lead to an idea you had not considered. The magic is not in the sales - It is in the synergy.
Why Toxic Networking Fails
Transactional networking leaves you feeling unseen. You are reduced to a résumé or a sales pitch, not recognized as a person.
That approach fails because it:
Ignores human needs for authenticity.
Creates pressure to “perform” instead of connect.
Builds shallow ties that collapse when the transaction ends.
Toxic networking may yield quick wins, but it rarely fosters the deep trust that sustains long-term growth.
Taking Leadership of Yourself in Community
Here is the key: community is powerful, but only if you take responsibility for how you present yourself within it.
Taking leadership of yourself in a community means:
Showing up with curiosity rather than an agenda.
Listening to understand, not to reply.
Offering support before seeking it.
When you do this, you do not just receive from the group - you shape it. You become part of the energy that makes the community thrive.
Three Practices for Building Healthy Connections
Check your energy before joining. Ask: Am I here to connect, or am I just here to receive?
Contribute openly. Share a resource, a story, or encouragement without expecting something in return.
Seek compassion, not competition. Gravitate toward spaces where collaboration feels natural, not forced.
The Bigger Picture
When communities shift from “What can I sell?” to “How can we support each other?” the ripple effects are massive.
Imagine what happens when groups stop competing in silos and start collaborating across boundaries. Ideas expand. Resources multiply. People feel seen. That is the kind of community that not only grows individuals but also transforms entire networks.
A Final Thought
The next time you step into a networking space, pause and take note of the energy. Does it feel heavy or light? Transactional or compassionate?
Remember:
You always have a choice.
You can opt into communities that drain you - or ones that sustain you.
That choice is leadership of yourself.
Food for thought:
Where in your life could you shift from “transactional connection” to “compassionate community”?