Self-trust isn't knowing what comes next. It's learning how to stay connected with yourself when you don't know.
There is a lot we are being asked to navigate right now. Technology is changing how we work and how we find information. Artificial intelligence has moved remarkably quickly into workplaces, schools, businesses, and everyday life. Economic pressures continue to influence the choices people make. Political and global events can shift quickly. Even determining which information deserves our attention has become a task in itself.
Then there is everything happening in our individual lives. Jobs change. Relationships change. Families need us. Our bodies change. Plans that once seemed certain suddenly aren't. Decisions still need to be made even when we don't have all the information we would like to have.
So we search. We read another article, Google the question, ask a friend, consult an expert, listen to another podcast, check social media, or increasingly ask AI. Sometimes we discover an answer. Other times we end up with five perfectly reasonable answers that contradict one another.
Information is not the enemy of self-trust. Good information matters. Evidence matters. Expertise matters. Other people's experience can help us recognize something we haven't considered. But somewhere in the search for the right answer, something interesting can happen. We can become so busy listening to everyone else that we forget to include ourselves.
And perhaps that is where a different understanding of self-trust needs to begin.
Self-Trust Is Not the Same as Being Certain
When we talk about trusting ourselves, it can sound as though we are supposed to develop an inner voice that confidently tells us what to do: choose this, don't choose that, leave, stay, say yes, say no. And somehow, if we have developed enough self-trust, that voice will always be right.
I don't think that is a particularly useful standard for self-trust. It asks us to possess something none of us has: certainty about what hasn't happened yet.
Many choices involve uncertainty precisely because important information is unavailable. We don't know exactly how another person will respond. We don't know whether an opportunity will work out. We don't know what the economy, our workplace, our health, or our circumstances will look like a year from now. Sometimes there simply isn't enough information to know which choice will ultimately prove to have been the “right” one.
Research into intolerance of uncertainty has spent decades examining how people think, feel, and behave when faced with uncertainty. A recent state-of-the-science review describes intolerance of uncertainty as relevant across situations and psychological experiences, while also pointing out that researchers continue to debate aspects of how it should be defined and measured.[1]
We don't need to turn an ordinary human experience into a diagnosis to recognize something useful in that research: not knowing can be difficult. And when not knowing becomes uncomfortable, certainty can become very attractive.
The Search for Certainty Can Look Like the Search for Information
There is nothing wrong with gathering information before making a decision. Often it is exactly what we should do. The difficulty is recognizing when we are gathering information because something useful is still missing and when we are continuing to search because we want someone, somewhere, to remove uncertainty for us. Those are not quite the same thing.
Maybe you have experienced this. You have already researched the issue. You have talked with people you trust. You understand the choices reasonably well. Yet you find yourself asking one more person, “What would you do?” Then someone gives you an answer, but instead of feeling settled, you ask someone else.
We can do the same thing online. One search becomes another, which leads to another article, another video, another expert, another opinion. More information doesn't necessarily create more clarity because eventually we may not be missing information at all. We may be struggling with the fact that no amount of information can guarantee the outcome.
Self-trust doesn't require shutting out other voices. It means making sure your own voice is one of the voices you consider.
What Happens to Our Own Experience?
This is where awareness enters the conversation. Before asking, “What should I do?” there may be another question worth asking: “What am I noticing?”
That question doesn't demand an answer. It asks us to pay attention. What thoughts keep returning? What emotions are present? What happens in my body when I consider each possibility? What am I worried about? What am I hoping for? What facts do I have? What am I assuming? What matters to me? Is there something I don't yet understand? Is there information I genuinely need?
Even asking those questions can change the nature of a decision because we have stopped treating ourselves as passive recipients of everybody else's answers. We have entered the conversation.
Listening to the Body Without Turning It Into an Oracle
Our physical experience can be part of that conversation too. The scientific study of interoception, broadly referring to how we perceive and process signals arising from within the body, continues to expand. Researchers are investigating its relationships with bodily self-representation, emotion, stress, and other psychological processes.[2,3]
But this research also gives us a reason to be careful. “Listen to your body” sounds wonderfully simple. Human bodies aren't.
A tight chest is a real experience, but the sensation alone doesn't necessarily tell us why it is happening. A change in breathing, a racing heart, tension in the shoulders, heaviness, restlessness, warmth, or a feeling of ease may all be worth noticing. Their interpretation depends on context.
A racing heart could accompany fear. It could accompany excitement. It could follow physical exertion. It could be related to caffeine. In some circumstances, it could be a reason to seek medical attention. So bodily awareness does not have to mean, “My body gave me the answer.” It can mean, “Something changed. Let me notice that.”
The same applies to thoughts and emotions. Fear doesn't automatically mean don't do it. Excitement doesn't automatically mean do it. An uncomfortable feeling doesn't automatically mean something is wrong, just as feeling comfortable doesn't guarantee that something is right. Awareness gives us information. Then we consider that information in context.
A signal is information. It is not automatically an instruction.
Self-Trust Still Leaves Room for Expertise
This distinction matters because self-trust can easily be misunderstood as independence. If I trust myself, shouldn't I know what to do? No. Sometimes one of the clearest things we can recognize is, “I don't know enough about this.”
Self-trust can lead us to a doctor because something in our body has changed and we need medical expertise. It can lead us to an accountant because the financial decision in front of us exceeds our knowledge. It can lead us to a counsellor because we recognize that we are having difficulty seeing a situation clearly on our own. It can also lead us to a friend and the simple admission, “I need another perspective.”
There is no contradiction there. The difference is that expertise becomes part of the information we consider rather than a replacement for our participation in our own lives.
A doctor may explain treatment options and risks. An accountant may explain the financial implications of a decision. A trusted friend may notice a pattern we cannot see. Research may tell us what tends to happen across groups of people. All of those things can matter enormously. And then there may still be a decision that belongs to us.
What If You Don't Know?
Perhaps this is the part of self-trust that receives too little attention. What happens when you genuinely don't know? Can you trust yourself enough to say that?
“I don't know yet.” “I need more information.” “I need some time.” “I know what the options are, and I still don't know which one I want.” “I thought I knew, but now I'm reconsidering.”
Those statements can look like indecision from the outside. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they are evidence that we are resisting the pressure to manufacture certainty simply because uncertainty feels uncomfortable.
There are also times when waiting isn't possible. A decision has a deadline. Something needs our response. We have gathered the information available, and no perfect answer has appeared. Self-trust then may look less like knowing and more like choosing.
This is what I know right now. This is what I am noticing. This is what matters to me. These are the risks I understand. This is the information and expertise I have considered. Based on all of that, this is the choice I am making.
That choice still doesn't come with a guarantee. But perhaps it doesn't need one.
You Are Allowed to Choose Again
One of the harshest things we can do to ourselves is use hindsight as proof that we should have known better. Sometimes we do ignore information that was available to us. Sometimes we make impulsive choices. Sometimes we recognize later that fear, pressure, expectation, or another influence played a bigger role than we realized. Those experiences can teach us something.
But there are also decisions we make thoughtfully that simply don't turn out as we hoped. The information changes. Circumstances change. We change.
Self-trust cannot mean never making a decision we later regret because that would make self-trust dependent upon predicting the future correctly. Instead, perhaps part of trusting ourselves is knowing that we can return to the conversation.
I chose with the information I had then. I have different information now. What am I noticing now? What matters now? What needs to happen next?
Choosing again is not necessarily evidence that the first choice was a failure. Sometimes choosing again is exactly what responding to reality looks like.
Before You Ask “What Should I Do?”
So I want to offer you a very small experiment this month. The next time you notice yourself immediately reaching outside yourself for an answer, don't stop yourself from asking for help. Don't stop researching. Don't cancel the appointment with the expert. Don't decide that you should somehow figure everything out alone. Just change the order slightly.
Before asking, “What should I do?”, ask: “What am I noticing?”
Give yourself a moment before everybody else's voices enter the room. Notice what you think and feel. Notice your physical response. Notice what you know and what you don't know. Notice what you are assuming and what matters to you.
You don't have to follow the first answer that appears. You are simply giving yourself an opportunity to hear it. Then gather the information you need. Ask the expert. Talk to the friend. Read the research. Use the technology. Consider the context. The point isn't to replace outside information with inner information. It is to include yourself among the sources of information you consider.
Practising the NOTICE
If noticing yourself feels surprisingly difficult, you aren't necessarily doing anything wrong. Many of us spend much of our day responding to what needs our attention. The email arrives. Someone asks a question. The phone rings. Something needs fixing. Another decision needs making. We become very good at noticing what everyone and everything around us needs while paying considerably less attention to what is happening within us.
You don't need a complicated practice to begin. Try stopping for thirty seconds and asking yourself three questions: What am I noticing in my body? What am I noticing in my thoughts or emotions? What am I noticing around me?
Don't try to fix anything. Don't decide what the sensation means. Don't even try to relax. If your shoulders are tight, notice that they are tight. If your thoughts are racing, notice the racing thoughts. If the room feels noisy, notice the noise. If you feel calm, notice that too. The practice is the noticing.
You can also try a simple before and after. Before opening an email, walking into a meeting, making a phone call, or having an important conversation, notice your breathing, posture, thoughts, and emotions. Afterwards, check again. What changed? You aren't looking for a particular result. You are becoming more familiar with your own responses.
Another useful experiment is to notice the word “should.” When you hear yourself thinking, I should do this, don't immediately argue with it or obey it. Just become curious. Where did that should come from? Is it a responsibility, an expectation, a habit, a value, a fear, or something I genuinely want? You may still decide to do the thing. The difference is that you've considered it rather than moving automatically.
These exercises are intentionally simple. Awareness doesn't have to begin with an hour of meditation or a perfectly quiet mind. It can begin in ordinary moments with enough curiosity to recognize, “Something is happening here. Let me notice it.”
A Little Help With Practising
Sometimes a question is enough to help us pause. Sometimes having something physical in front of us makes that pause easier.
That's part of why I created the Permission Slip Deck. The cards offer small invitations to consider what you might give yourself permission to do, feel, question, change, or leave alone. You don't have to agree with the card you draw. In fact, noticing your reaction to it can be part of the practice. Does the permission feel easy? Uncomfortable? Impossible? Relieving? Annoying? Before deciding what the card means, notice what happened when you read it.
The Stress Be Gone Deck offers another way to create a small interruption in a stressful day. Rather than waiting until you have the perfect conditions to work on your wellbeing, a card can provide a simple action or point of focus in the middle of ordinary life.
Neither deck is meant to give you the answer. Think of them as ways of creating a pause long enough to hear yourself again.
You could combine either deck with the three NOTICE questions: What am I noticing in my body? What am I noticing in my thoughts and emotions? What am I noticing around me? Then choose a card. Afterwards, notice again. Not, “Did the card work?” Simply, “What changed, if anything?”
That small distinction matters. We aren't trying to force ourselves into feeling better. We are becoming more familiar with ourselves. And familiarity may be one of the places from which self-trust begins.
The World May Remain Uncertain
I would love to tell you that the world is about to become simpler. There is very little pointing in that direction. Technology will continue changing. Work will continue changing. Our relationships, responsibilities, circumstances, and bodies will change. Some of those changes will be welcome. Others won't.
There will be questions for which research provides probabilities rather than answers. There will be experts who disagree. There will be moments when the people who know us best see things differently than we do. And sometimes we simply won't know.
Perhaps self-trust isn't the thing that makes all that uncertainty disappear. Perhaps it is what allows us to remain in relationship with ourselves while uncertainty is present: to notice what is happening, consider what we know, recognize what we don't know, seek information and expertise when we need it, choose when a choice needs to be made, learn from what happens, and choose again when something changes.
The world may not become less uncertain. Perhaps we can become more able to meet it.
Sometimes finding your way forward really does begin by finding your way back to yourself.
Want a little help creating the pause? The Permission Slip Deck and Stress Be Gone Deck can be used as simple prompts for noticing. Draw a card, notice your response, and ask: What am I noticing in my body? What am I noticing in my thoughts and emotions? What am I noticing around me? Then notice again. The goal is not to find the right answer. It is to become more familiar with yourself.
Natascha Polomski, MSc CIH (BioEW) | Estimated Reading Time: 10 minutes
Published: September 2026 | Last reviewed: September 2026
About the Author
Natascha Polomski is a Self Trust & Awareness Guide, BioEnergetic Wellness Professional, speaker, and PhD candidate in Complementary and Integrative Health. Through her work at Turn Up the Frequency Vibrational Wellness, she helps overwhelmed professionals reconnect with themselves, recognize stress before it becomes burnout, and build lasting well-being through awareness, practical tools, and BioEnergetic Wellness.
Research Behind This Article
Peer-Reviewed Research
[1] Dugas, M. J., Koerner, N., & Freeston, M. H. (2026). State of the science: Intolerance of uncertainty. Behavior Therapy, 57(1), 17–36. doi:10.1016/j.beth.2025.08.009
[2] Irigoras Izagirre, N., Palmer, R., Schulz, A., Agostinho, M., Canaipa, R., Lima-Araujo, G., Maeda, S., Millon, E. M., Plans, D., Treister, R., Williams, I. A., & Murphy, J. (2026). Investigating the relationship between cardiac interoceptive accuracy and stress: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 180, 106454. doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2025.106454
[3] Simmons, A. N., Wittmann, M., & Strigo, I. A. (2025). Interoception: Synthesizing insights and charting new frontiers. Current Topics in Behavioral Neurosciences, 70, 307–317. doi:10.1007/7854_2025_587
Additional Reading
For readers interested in exploring the ideas in this article further, helpful areas for additional reading include research on intolerance of uncertainty, interoception, stress, and decision-making, and on embodied awareness and decision-making under uncertainty.
The Permission Slip Deck and Stress Be Gone Deck from Turn Up the Frequency Vibrational Wellness can also be used alongside the simple NOTICE practices introduced in this article. They are intended as reflective prompts that can help create a pause for noticing rather than provide an answer about what someone should do.
Important Note
This article is provided for educational and informational purposes and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical or mental health condition. The information and reflective practices shared here are not a substitute for individualized medical, psychological, or other qualified professional care.
Thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and other internal experiences can provide information worth noticing and considering, but they are not automatically instructions about what a person should do. Context, available evidence, professional expertise, personal circumstances, and other relevant information may all be important when making decisions.
If you have concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult an appropriate qualified healthcare professional.